At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Farmville is her only friend.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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