sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
