Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
