Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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