buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
