This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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