what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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