I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
