Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
