I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
