There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
