I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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