I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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