There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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