yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
