if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
