ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
