That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
