I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
