rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
