i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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