You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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