I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
