:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
