The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
