your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
