btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
