Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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