what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
