In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize