Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
