i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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