My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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