the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
