You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
