hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
