I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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