i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
