I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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