i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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