Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
