Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
