the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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