Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
