Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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