Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
