Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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