i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
