I feel great
I just peed on a car
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
be right there i have to get my cape
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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