she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
