Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
