guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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