So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
