google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize