Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
