Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
