ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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